Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Random acts of gayness

As a hetro male, I have never questioned my sexuality. I am attracted to one gender. I love the female form. It is intoxicating. I am also comfortable hanging out with my gay/lesbian friends at a “Gay” bar. I am comfortable in my sexuality to not be uncomfortable at one of these hang outs.

But sometimes I have to second guess myself, not on my sexuality, but I believe on perception. Now I know that when I walk into a “Gay” bar everyone knows that I am not gay. I am not a big macho guy, but we “hetros” can be detected a mile away. What I am really talking about here is the random acts of gayness that come over me.

Every straight man knows what I am talking about. It is that moment that you are immersed in something when all of a sudden you think to yourself is this gay? I had one such moments this weekend. I was scrolling through the radio stations when I found myself listening to and rocking out to George Michael’s “Freedom”. When the “Freedom” video came out it, it was laced with scantily clad Super Models through the whole video. It was awesome. But then after he came out, I think we all re-evaluated our masculinity. In retrospect, why didn’t we realize this when he was in Wham?

I was cruising down an open road and blasting this song. As I approached an intersection, I lowered the volume so I would not be caught listening. At that moment, at that intersection, I had a random act of gayness. Have you ever felt this phenomenon? It could happen to you when you least expect it. For me, it happens mostly with music. Because I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s, gayness was scattered throughout the music. Think Elton John, The Village People, Culture Club and Wham. Again in retrospect, duh!

For others it could be getting caught up with your girl watching “Sex and the City”. Others may feel it when they use their wife’s razor or shaving cream. Whenever I think about this subject, it always comes back to the “do you know why I know your gay” routine in 40yr old Virgin, “I know why your gay because I saw you make a spinach dip and put it in a bread bowl.”

I think for me I just need to come to grips with this and embrace my “random acts of gayness”. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I am going to try to be unabashed when these random acts overtake me.  I think I hear them calling me, “They want you, they want you, they want you as a new recruit.” Straight guys, if you knew the name of the song these lyrics came from, you just had an act.

Guys, can you be masculine enough to tell me your favorite random act of gayness? Are you man enough? J

BTW, that song is “In the Navy” by The Village People.

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